Writing Through My Fear

I struggle with letting myself be seen.

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

I don’t like being seen.

But words are a roadmap to the human heart. It is easy to see a person’s intent on the page. You can tell with only a few sentences where a person is coming from. Sometimes this terrifies me. But it also inspires me. I am moved by my fellow writers who seem to put it all out there with no stone unturned.

Am I afraid of being found out? Well, I would like to keep my anonymity. I guess I chose the wrong career. I have had stalkers. I have had my house broken into by trusted friends and my journals read and edited. I have my own reasons for not feeling safe. But for this same reason, I feel it’s time to let that all go.

I sing as well as write. When I am singing, I cannot avoid the public eye by nature of the job. But one reason why I enjoy writing is that I do not have to put myself out there physically. It can all be on the page. I am much more comfortable singing in public than speaking in public. This might have something to do with the fact that I have been singing in public since I was two or three years old. It is a skill I have had since I was a child and it feels very natural. And still, I am more comfortable writing than singing. I'm not sure why this is.